Exploring Identity-Part 4- The Media and Identity

The media has a huge role to play in the development of our identities. Of course this depends on how much exposure to the media we have. Nevertheless, the media constantly gives us an idea of how people should look, what they should wear, how they should behave, etc. and we internalise these things and adopt a lot of it as part of our own identities. What's more, if there's something in ourselves that is contrary to the dominant and popular ideas portrayed through the media, then we begin to reject these things as part of our identity, even though it's an important part of who we are.

 Let me give you an example. For instance, say the media places emphasis on people who have straight hair. They advertise "beautiful hair" as been straight. This makes people all over believe thar straight hair is better than curly hair and even though someone might have beautiful curly hair, that person might want their hair to be straight because that's what the media has portrayed. That person will then reject her/his curly hair even though it's a part of who they are. This is just one small silly example, but people do this all the time with many other things. We internalise the ideas portrayed through the media and make that a part of our identity and we end up rejecting the things that really are a part of who we are.

This makes things very dangerous, because people were all created differently and each person has received what is good for them. When we start adopting other things as our identity then we can easily become despondent and unhappy with who we are.

The best thing to do is to gain an understanding of what the media portrays and how that relates to you as an individual, and more importantly as a Muslim. Always have a "filter" on and begin to develop an awareness of the ways in which the media influences your own identity. If there are things you see through the media that make you unhappy with your identity, then perhaps you should consider lessening your exposure to the media.

Let's do a little exercise now:

Take a minute or two and take stock. How much radio do you listen to? How much TV do you watch? How much time do you spend surfing the internet? How much time do you spend reading magazines or newspapers? Think back through an average week in your life and jot down, per day, what your media habits are and how long you spend on these activities. Then add up your total viewing hours for the week and see if it’s what you’d expect.

1. HOW MANY HOURS A DAY DO YOU NORMALLY SPEND WATCHING TV?

2. HOW MANY HOURS A WEEK DO YOU SPEND READING MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS?

3. WHAT ACTIVITY DO YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME DOING:
Reading         watching TV        talking with friends

Listening to the radio     watching movies            going out

Talking with family               outside activities

4. DO YOU TALK ABOUT TV SHOWS TO OTHERS AFTER YOU HAVE SEEN THEM?


5. HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU SPEND ON THE COMPUTER (NOT WORK RELATED)?


THINK ABOUT THE RESULTS THAT YOU RECEIVED HERE!

 ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THE TIME YOU SPEND ON MEDIA RELATED ACTIVITIES?
 WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT ON THESE ACTIVTIES, DO YOU THINK IT CAN HAVE AN INFLUENCE ON YOU?

The more time you are exposed to the media, the more likely it is to have an influence on your identity.

Reference for exercise:
Focus on the Family (2000). No Apologies: The truth about life, love and sex (teachers guide). Hillcrest: South Africa

Exploring Identity-Part 3- Identity and different levels of human functioning

The human being functions on different levels, there are 5 important levels that we function on.

- Spiritual

- Psychological

- Intellectual

- Social

- Physical

All these things are what makes up the whole human being and if we only function on some levels instead of all then we will always feel that something is missing in our lives. The way we perceive ourselves on all these different levels ultimately contributes to our IDENTITY OR SELF-DEFINITION.

1. What is your identity (i.e. how do you see yourself ) on each of the different levels of functioning?

2. Are you happy with your identity, is this a positive identity or a negative one, look at each area and decide.
3. What do you think your identity is based on?


Let's look at an example of how you can do this.
 
For instance you can say, I am a very spiritual person and I am happy with that. Then for the psychological level you might say, I have a certain personality type (I may be introverted, outgoing, perfectionistic, etc.) but I'm not that happy with my identity on a psychological level because it's not that good to be introverted, etc. Then you might say, on a physical level I am very happy with the way I look, (for whatever reasons- you can make a note of your own reasons). On an intellectual level you may think, I need to learn more and study more and I'm not very happy with my identity on an intellectual level. On a social level, you may say... I have lots of friends, I socialise easily, people like me, I am very happy with my identity on a social level.
 
The above is just to give you an idea of what needs to be done when thinking about your own identity on all the different levels. Now you can apply this to your own life and see what your identity is like on all the different levels and whether you are happy with it or not.
 
Rememember, you may be very happy with your identity on some levels and on other levels you may be unhappy with your identity.
 
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Now we will take this a little further:
 
Consider the following:
 
What are the ideas about your identity based on? Are they based on Islamic ideals or something else? 
 
If they are based on something else, what are they based on and why have these other things become important to you?
 
Once you've identified how you feel about your identity on all the different levels, this will help you to understand why you have either a positive or a negative identity.
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•  If you have a negative identity on any level, then pay attention to the above questions and perhaps you feel negative about yourself on some levels when those things don't even matter in Islam.
• Allah Almighty made us all differently, and we are all different on all the different levels mentioned above. It doesn't make sense for us to all wish to be the same when Allah (SWT) made us unique.
•  Many times people have a negative self-identity because they do not accept themselves as Allah has made them and they try to be like others.
•  This is also a form of ungratefulness, because we should be thankful to Allah for everything. If we are not good at a certain thing, then surely we will have to be good at something else. For instance, if we are not that good looking, we may be very intelligent, and so forth.
• Allah Almighty has not deprived anyone so we should always be grateful for who we are, exactly how Allah has made us.
• This will help us to always maintain a positive identity on all levels!

 
May The Almighty help us all to recognize the bounties He has given us, to accept ourselves the way we are, to only strive to better ourselves in ways that please our Creator, Allah and to always be happy with our identities! Insha'Allah Ameen!

Exploring Identity- Part 2- Identity and Social Groups

Tajfel and Turner (in Wetherell, 1996) suggests that people’s sense of themselves transforms in group settings. First of all, the base of people’s self-definition changes and personal identity gives way to social identity. They argue that in many situations we react to others in terms of our identity as a unique individual with a particular personality, likes and dislikes, skills and talents, attitudes and opinions. This self definition can continue into groups and may be dominant if we strongly disagree with the group, the flipside is that we can begin to perceive ourselves as a member of a social group and we then take on the characteristics of that group, allowing our own personal characteristics to take a back seat. In short, they are asserting that if an individual agrees with and identifies with the group, then the group identity becomes more important than their personal identity. However, in some cases, even if people disagree with the group, they might not be strong enough to stand up against the group and thus their personal identity will still be overridden by the group identity. As we label ourselves as a member of a particular group, our sense of who we are and what we are like as an individual changes. (Wetherell, 1996:33-35)

When a person begins to categorize her/himself in terms of a group, then their self-esteem becomes bound up with the fortune of the group. Tafjel and Turner also suggest that in order for people to think well of themselves, they then need to have a positive view of the group that they are identifying with. In sum, the person’s self-perception and how he/she feels about themselves is directly linked to what is happening in the group. Personal identity is overshadowed by group identity in many cases. (Wetherell, 1996:34)

The influence of a group on a person’s self concept may not necessarily be a bad thing. Obviously a part of life is for people to belong to different social groups. If we become afraid that social groups will override our personal ideas of the self then we will end up living in isolation. It is important to hold on to your own idea of your self and to use this positively within a group. The group, while contributing to your selfhood should not be the sole means of your selfhood.

We can see an example of how groups can negatively influence people’s ideas and perceptions of the self when we look at how teenagers are influenced into doing things that they don’t really want to do just because of peer pressure. In the case of experimenting with drugs for instance, many teenagers find it difficult to remain strong in their own beliefs and ideas about drugs and they easily give in to what is expected from them by their social group. On the other hand, there are many cases where social groups can play a positive influence on a person’s self perception and self-esteem.

Exercise
Make a list of the various social groups to which you belong. This can include things like, political groups, sports clubs, religious group, parent’s association, professional association, cultural group, book club, women’s group, work group, etc…basically any social group that you can think of, if you are not sure if a group can be regarded as a social group then you can put it in anyway.

Now think about and answer the following questions:

1. Was it easy or difficult for you to write down the social groups that you belong to?
2. How aware are you of belonging to this group, that is, does belonging to this group play a big part or small part in your life?
3. How do you think the different groups effect the way you see yourself?
4. Was there any time, in any of the groups that your personal identity was overshadowed by the group identity, if yes, what do you think the reasons for this are?
5. Have you ever experienced any conflict in any of the groups because the group ideas and beliefs clashed with your personal ideas and beliefs, if yes, what did you do in this situation?

Reference for this post: Wetherell, M. (1996). Identities, Groups and Social Issues. London: Sage

Publications Ltd.

Exploring Identity-Part 1

Inshaa'Allah this is the beginning of a new topic. In the next few posts I hope to discuss identity in some more detail. I hope that you find these posts useful!

What is Identity?

•  Identity is basically a stable idea that we have of ourselves as well as the embrace of a system of values that provides a sense of direction for us. 
•  We begin to focus on developing an identity for ourselves when we reach the stage of adolescence. It is common for teenagers to struggle with issues of identity as they still do not have a clear sense of who they are what they believe in.
• If we do not have a stable self-identity then we will be in a state of confusion and we will be restless and uncertain about things.
• However, people are constantly re-defining their identities based on their life experiences, age, or stage of life that they are in.
• We can have a positive self identity or a negative one, depending on what we base our identities on.

What is identity based on?

• Most of the time people’s identities are based on as set of values or beliefs about a particular thing. These beliefs influence whether our self identity is positive or negative.
• Our identities are not only based on how we see ourselves now, but also how we think we want our lives to be in the future. So we look to our “ideal” self and this determines our identity at present. Sometimes we even look to past ideas about ourselves and this influences our present identity.
• Although each person has their own personal identity, our identities are influenced by many factors. For e.g; - Family - Society (social norms) - Friends - Popular attitudes (which may be displayed through media or other people) - Values and beliefs- Ideas of life- Future goals

What about Islamic identity?

•  Developing a strong Islamic identity, based on Islamic values and morals should be our most important goal.
• This means that we should not be ashamed to assert ourselves as Muslims, not only in the way we dress, but also in the things we do and how we behave. 
•  Part of developing a strong Islamic identity is to as far as possible adopt the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW).
• We should also try and emulate the ways of the sahaabah (r.a.) in the time of the Prophet (SAW).
• There are many important Muslim men and women whose lives should be a guide for us to follow. The Prophet’s (SAW) Companions, wives, daughters and others in the time of the Prophet (SAW) are excellent role models for us.
• We should begin to view ourselves in terms of Islamic ideals, on all the different levels of functioning.

It’s called desensitization

The first time the tap in my bathroom drips it really bothers me. I feel the need to do something about it, try to fix it, try to get someone else to fix it or call in a plumber. However, what if I just don’t get down to doing any of these things? Slowly the dripping tap begins to sound less faint, I don’t notice the sound and it doesn’t bother me that much anymore, until eventually I am so accustomed to hearing it that I even forget that it’s a problem which needed to be fixed and I accept it as a part of the way things are. This process is called desensitization and human beings go through this constantly without us even being aware of it. This happens with both small and big things and it can either be a good thing or a bad thing.

When desensitization works in a good way it can be helpful to people; like if you’ve lost someone and you are grieving for them. At first it’s really difficult for you to move on with life and you really can’t get used to your life without that person, but then slowly over time it becomes easier and you get used to living without that person until you’ve managed to work out things in your life in such a manner that you can cope with that person being gone. Surely you’ll never forget the loved ones that you’ve lost, but you’ve become desensitized to the lack of their presence and then life becomes easier.

And then of course there’s the desensitization that works against us. I’ll give you some examples. You’re watching TV and you see something that you know is immoral or sinful, this really bothers you and you change the channel or switch the TV off for a while, or fast forward, skip the scene, whatever it is that you do, because inside of you, you know that what you are seeing is wrong and it makes you feel really bad. The next time this happens though, you are not that shocked and so you take a little longer to change the channel or fast forward. But the next time, you don’t even bother skipping the scene and you decide that it’s not such a big deal to see it because now you’ve already been desensitized. The same can apply to any other sin, the first time you do something it seems really bad and you feel terrible, but with more and more exposure to a particular thing, it becomes a natural part of your life and you don’t even pay attention to what you are doing. This is how it becomes easy for us to commit sin, after sin, after sin, even though we know that it is wrong.

The bad thing about desensitization is that it puts us in a state of oblivion. We lose our focus and we can begin to accept almost anything, if the desensitization process works correctly. I don’t know about you but I find it a bit uncomfortable and I actually don’t like this. I know that there are benefits in this process and I accept this and am thankful to Allah Almighty for those benefits because it really can be a good coping mechanism, but the thought of going slowly into oblivion just doesn’t sit well with me. When I just started out working as a counsellor I’d look at all the more experienced counsellors around me and wonder how it was possible for them to deal with the difficulties in people’s lives without being affected at all. They were doing counselling for a while and had already been desensitized. I didn’t want to be like that, I didn’t want to remain unaffected when hearing about an innocent child being abused or a woman going through difficulty. I wanted to freely feel sad about these things, because I believed then, and I still believe now that these things should make us sad, it should affect us as fellow human beings.

Perhaps desensitization is a normal process, but I can see the negative effects of it. Every day as we watch the news and see how our brothers and sisters across the world are suffering in so many different ways, how many of us are terribly affected by this? We have come to accept these things and we don’t even realize that war and suffering is going on all around us, because we have become desensitized.

In Johannesburg where I live people have become so accustomed to crime that they no longer have the need to react when they see something happening and so neighbours hear noises and see their own neighbours been attacked and even murdered, but they feel they can do nothing about it, because of desensitization. Then, it’s given a really nice name- BYSTANDER EFFECT- “ a social psychological phenomenon that refers to cases where individuals do not offer any means of help in an emergency situation to the victim when other people are present.” This is the level of desensitization that we have reached. I don’t know about you, but I think this is really abnormal.

You might be wondering at this point what we can do to stop ourselves from being desensitized in a negative way. So here are some very basic tips:

1. First and foremost, make a pure intention and ask Allah to help you in this regard so that it can become easier for you not to get caught up in negative things and so that you are more able to help others and to worship Allah Almighty more effectively.

2. Become more aware- Awareness is very important. First become aware of all the ways that you are being desensitized. Once you are aware, you will make an effort to counteract the negative desensitization, Inshaa Allah.

3. Look at the ways in which you’ve been desensitized and determine the positive ways of desensitization from the negative ones.

4. Once you’ve identified the positive and negative, use the positive forms of desensitization to strengthen yourself and your relationship with Allah- Thank Allah for giving you this coping mechanism.

5. In terms of the negative ways- start thinking about this more often and consider how many ways you have been desensitized into doing things that go against Islam. How many sins have become easier for you to commit, how many people have you hurt because of desensitization. If you become more aware you will slowly begin to fight the effects of desensitization. Feeling bad about commiting sins or doing harmful acts is the beginning of stopping those acts.

6. The effects of desensitization should be able to work in reverse. Just as you were numbed into accepting bad things, now you will feel bad, and then slowly you’ll become more aware of your negative actions until eventually you stop doing the things that are harmful to yourself and others.

Inshaa Allah with the help of Allah Almighty we can all achieve a state of awareness where our only aim is to please our Creator.

May Allah make it easy for us all!!!