Managing Stress

There are a number of different strategies for coping with, and managing stress. It is important to realize that no single method suits everyone: a combination of approaches is generally most effective. Also, what works for one person does not necessarily work for someone else.

First we will re-look at the ABC Model which was previously discussed in an earlier post, this time we will apply it to stress management:
 
ABC MODEL

 A- ACTIVATING EVENT (events in people’s lives, events that might be distressing or troublesome for them).

B- BELIEF SYSTEM (person’s beliefs about the events that occur in their lives).

C- CONSEQUENCE (emotional and behavioural reactions which most of the time are dysfunctional or problematic if the event is experienced as distressing).

We have no control over A, the Activating event, it will happen anyhow, however, our beliefs about events will determine the consequences and therefore if we change our negative beliefs then we will be changing the consequences as well.

Now let's look at an EXAMPLE of how we can apply this to stress management.

The Table Below Gives a simple example of how people can easily become stressed out according to their particular belief system about an event:

From this example we can see how a different belief system can help to reduce stress. You can try to apply different examples to this model and see what you come up with. Most of the time you will find that stress can be reduced when people change their negative or demanding belief systems. 

In stress management its very important to look at peoples belief systems about things and situations. This is because often people have irrational beliefs or assumptions about the way things should be. These irrational assumptions often puts pressure on them and causes stress. Stress can be reduced and even avoided if these irrational assumptions are changed to rational assumptions.

Exercise:

-Use the stressors that you have previously identified and apply it to the ABC Model.

-Your stressor will be the activating event, focus on what belief system you have been making use of, is it rational or irrational?

- Think about the alternative? How can you change your belief system, what will happen if you change it? Think about how your stress levels will decrease.

- If you’re feeling stressed out, it is very likely that you are making use of irrational belief systems, using an alternative, more rational belief system will help to reduce and perhaps even alleviate your stress.

Below is some examples of Irrational Beliefs or Assumptions and a Rational Alternative:
  

Think about this and consider the difference it makes to a person's stress levels when their irrational assumptions are changed to rational ones. Can you see how people can easily add extra stress to their lives by holding on to irrational beliefs?

Someone recently told me that "we should strive for excellence and not perfection". No human being is perfect and trying to be perfect adds stress to our lives. We should try and do the best we can in life, but then we have to leave things in the hands of Allaah (SWT) and accept our own shortcomings. This will help us to think about things in a more rational way and Insha'Allah will thus help to lower our stress levels, making us calmer and more peaceful.

May The Almighty Allah help us all!

Changing our negative thought processes- Part 1

There’s a branch of psychology that believes that people’s feelings, beliefs and actions, basically what people go through in their lives are shaped by their thought processes. So for instance, if somebody has negative thought processes then the events in their lives will turn out negatively and if somebody has positive thought processes then the events in their lives will be positive.

The model below shows us how this works:

ABC MODEL*

A- ACTIVATING EVENT (events in people’s lives, events that might be distressing or troublesome for them).

 

B- BELIEF SYSTEM (person’s beliefs about the events that occur in their lives).

C- CONSEQUENCE (emotional and behavioural reactions which most of the time are dysfunctional or problematic if the event is experienced as distressing).

Image from: springfieldpubliclibrary.com

We have no control over A, the Activating event, it will happen anyhow, however, our beliefs about events will determine the consequences and therefore if we change our negative beliefs then we will be changing the consequences as well.

Now in some cases we won’t have control over the ultimate consequence (like for example with a terminal illness, but we will have control over the smaller consequences related to this. This sounds like it may be becoming confusing so let me give you an example:

Example:

Safiya just finds out that she has cancer. She believes that this is the end of the world and that she can’t go on living so she ends up staying in bed all day, she remains depressed and she is angry with the people around her, she fights with everyone all the time and she remains lonely and feels terrible and sick all the time.

At the same time, Leila also finds out that she has cancer. Leila believes that this does not change the fact that life is beautiful and she believes that having a disease should not be a means for life to stop because life is more than just about the physical. She decides to live each day to the fullest, she spends as much time as possible with her loved ones, she is joyful and bright all the time as she decided to cherish each moment of her life. She does not believe that her diagnosis is a death sentence because she believes that anybody can die at any time. So Leila remains happy and pleasant, physically she does feel sick but she manages to pick herself up and carry on.

I hope this example helps you to see how our belief systems about events in our lives determine the consequences of what will happen to us after that.

So, if you find that many events in your life are negative, perhaps it will help to look at the beliefs you hold about things that happen to you, and if you start changing those beliefs to more positive ones, then perhaps this will have a direct effect on how things turn out- Insha’Allah.

Self-Reflection Exercise

Think about a recent event that occurred in your life, it can be a big event or a small one. Consider how you reacted to this event/ what the consequences were. Now look back at your belief system about this event and try to see how a change in your beliefs might have changed the consequences of the event. Write down what you come up with, or just think about this.

Practice using this model and see if there are any differences in your life.

Don’t forget that you are more than welcome to share your experiences with us!

Insha’Allah in the post we will take this a little bit further and discuss the B- belief system and how you can change it in some more detail.

Until then, May Allah (SWT) shower His Peace and Blessing on you always!!!

* The reference for this is: Weiten, W. (1995). Psychology: Themes and Variations (3rd edition). California: Brooks/Cole Publishing Co. This can also be found in any other Introduction to Psychology Textbook.